"Send in the Clowns"

For some reason I always have ‘trouble’ at the end of a project. I’m not sure what happens to me – but all the doubts (is it good enough – will it work – should have’s and could have’s) come barreling at me. I’m sure some of it relates to the fact that so often I’m doing something I’ve never done before so I’m not even sure if it will work when I start out. Another possibility is that, after spending so many hours working on a piece I begin to wonder if what I’m doing will actually become what I had imagined it to be way back when I started.

My current art doll, “Send in the Clowns” is no different – as I got closer and closer to the finish line several barriers cropped up. Having a mind-picture and creating a new-to-me design can sometimes become a challenge. Creating a hat was one of the last things to do – which I had thought I could do all by hand, as I had done with the rest of the doll. That didn’t work at all – and my sewing machine was dusted off and put to work (albeit short work since this hat is really small). And the first one I made was too big – now big is probably not the correct word to use as we’re talking fraction, smidgen, trifle – but it did mean that it was back to the drawing board and another hat was made.

Next problem to encounter – I had designed this doll with her head cocked to the side – it seemed to fit her mood. So of course the hat was cocked to the side too. My whole plan as a setting for the doll was to hang her inside an open box - but with a cocked head, if I strung the hanging loop from the top of the hat she would be hanging cockeyed. If I strung the loop so that she hung straight – the loop would be out of the side of the hat. Oh my, what to do?

That question still isn’t quite solved – but here she is – all put together but still waiting for a display. From now on, when I have a design problem – or those last minute jitters I’ll just say “Send in the Clowns”.

“Isn’t it rich

Are we a pair?

Me here at last on the ground.

You in mid-air.

Send in the clowns.

Isn’t it bliss

Don’t you approve?

One who keeps tearing around,

One who can’t move.

Where are the clowns?

Send in the clowns.

Just when I’d stopped opening doors,

Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,

Making my entrance again with my usual flair

Sure of my lines,

No one is there.

Don’t you love farce

My fault I fear.

I thought that you’d want what I want.

Sorry, my dear.

But where are the clowns?

Quick send in the clowns.

Don’t bother they’re here.

Isn’t it rich?

Isn’t it queer?

Losing my timing this late

In my career?

And where are the clowns?

There ought to be clowns.

Well, maybe next year."

Steven Sondheim

Clowning Around

Here are some pictures of a 'work in progress' during these long, hot summer afternoons.  This figure - with its temporary, maybe permanent name "Send in the Clowns" has been worked on, set aside, worked on, then set aside.  I've been in the middle of a piece that I can't reveal until mid-September -- but this art doll keeps drawing my attention back to her and so I've temporarily put aside the 'deadline' piece and have picked her up to have fun playing with the theme, the fabric, the beads and the stitching.

She began as a piece of fabric that I just loved.  Not a color that I would usually use - sort of a rose red - with multicolored dots spaced and black lines squiggled here and there.  To that I added bunches of over-stitching lines in curves and swirls.

Once that was done (for a front and back piece) I carefully hemmed all the edges.  Then came the layout -- that part where, if I can, I layout the bits and pieces that will fill the fabric spaces of each doll.  I have to allow for the embroidery stitches that I want to put here, there and everywhere on the fabric. 

One of my favorite songs, of all time is "Send in the Clowns" -- the music is lovely and the words are so poignant.  They tell the story that each of us has had at one time or another in our lives when we were ready for something but things (life) didn't work out. 

Do you ever have a project that you just want to finish so much -- not to have it done by any means but to enjoy it as being finished?  This piece is that to me -- she speaks to me in ways that I can't exactly express.  Hopefully her message will be clear once she is completed.

Isn't it bliss?

Don't you approve?

One who keeps tearing around,

One who can't move.

Where are the clowns?
- Stephen Sondheim