Self-Centered

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Self-centered: Centered in oneself or itself.

I discovered something these past two weeks.  Although I don't think I'm a 'selfish' person, my normal, everyday life is definitely 'self-centered'.  I make my own schedule, I do what I want to do when I want to do it, I live exactly the way I want with everything in its place according to my whims.  Part way into my Nevada visit I realized that I hadn't had any of the 'normal' aches and pains that my body seems to send my way at this time in my life.  I pondered on this and began to understand that with my sudden thrust into living with children and dogs seemingly everywhere, all of my priorites had disappeared -- I was far too busy to think about hurting or to even think about what "I" wanted to do each day. There were little, and not so little, people and dogs counting on me and I had literally 'forgotten' myself.

I determined at that time that not only had I traveled to another state - a country away from my own home - I had traveled to a different 'time zone' within myself.  I was concentrating on what was best for the 'group'; my goals for each day were only to go with the flow and let others determine each day. Once I realized this I could only embrace it.  In a way it was truly a vacation from 'self' and very refreshing!

"The most satisfying thing in life is to have been able to give a large part of one's self to others." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Desert Haunting

We are off today on a trip back to the Nevada desert.  After being shaded in (and I do mean shaded) by trees and shrubs and plants I am looking forward to having open space surrounding me.  I want to spread my arms, much like an angel would spread her wings and savor the endless sky, the long vistas and the shapes and shadows of the desert.

Not to be denied is also the draw of family.  To be able to spend hours and days visiting, laughing, hugging and loving is a gift that I treasure beyond anything else. 

During this visit we shall attend football practice and a football game, a school carnival is on the agenda and a birthday party.  There will be meals shared and walks/hikes taken.  There will be visits with friends from long ago and extended family that we only see once in awhile.

During this visit there will be joy - and I'm packed and ready for any and all of it!!

"This is the sense of the desert hills, that there is room enough and time enough". - Mary Austin