As the new year begins so does a new wall hanging. This one, in its infancy, will be in several parts. I have designed and drawn four different sections. In my mind's eye they will hang from cords one upon the other.
There two somewhat disturbing feelings to conquer with each piece that I create. The first comes at the very beginning. Anyone who has worked with punchneedle knows that those first loops look awful! They stand there alone, with no apparent design in evidence. It isn't until many punches later that they start to look like something. So I have that moment of doubt at the beginning, wondering if this design will 'work', wondering if I've chosen the correct colors or the proper thread. Oh yes, the wondering goes on and on until I've made enough punches to see the results.
The second 'worry time' for me is at the very end. I'm not sure what it is about me and endings but I don't do well. I'm either very worried that I'll make a major mistake right at the end, ruining hours of work, or I'm worried that I won't like what I've done when all is said and done.
Part of my 'self-improvement' program for this coming year is to banish these worries from my mind. I know that the beginning of a punchneedle piece is no time to judge it -- there's not enough there to worry about. I know that in actuality I have rarely if ever 'ruined' a piece at the last minute (for that I'm very thankful). As to whether I truly love it or not when its all finished is not something to worry about unless I can see as I go along a way to improve the piece and then the solution will come well before the end of the process.
I shall try to give myself the gift of creativity this coming year, without the baggage of worry. Now that will be a refreshing change for me.
"You have freedom when you're easy in your harness." - Robert Frost